.jpg)
I have been
in such a foul mood lately…And I had some good reasons for it, I think. My
health problems, the elections (so much hope and such a huge disappointment in the
end), my husband’s illness…
My state of
mind was like a crazy roller coaster – up and down, up and down, until I couldn’t
breathe properly.
My daughter’s
studies – so far away, made me lose my fragile equilibrium.
And add to
all that the small things that gathered in a huge ball that rolled over me, over
and over again…at least that’s what I have been feeling lately. Roller coasters
and giant balls of worry crushing me.
I don’t
know how other people cope with difficult periods in their lives. Drinking?
Drugs? Mayhem?
(I am old
and tired, so no acting crazy for me. Alcohol would, for sure, finish me off).
Is this some old-age crisis? When we realize we are running out of time? When we feel the end
approaching, nearer with every second that passes?
Are these
regrets? Because I have plenty of them.
Desperation?
Because I can feel its sharp bite.
Time is no
longer on my side. I understand, and it is disappointing. It hurts.
It hurts to
be betrayed by my body and my mind. To fight a battle you are certain you are
going to lose.
For now, I
listen to sad music, read gothic novels and write sinister poems.
And wait
for the darkness to come.
If you happen to find yourself wandering through the darker corners of my mind, you might also enjoy my new poetry cycle – A Quiet Of Darkness, over at Where Words Dwell, my poetry blog.
https://wherethewordsdwell.blogspot.com/2026/11/a-quiet-kind-of-darkness.html
.png)
