North...in the Footsteps of Jesus

Last week I had a welcomed respite from all the stress of the past month, as we travelled to the North, in the Galilee. We stayed in Tiberias and visited the Christian holy places scattered on the shore of The Sea of Galilee - Lake Kineret for israelis.

We started our journey at Tabgha, you know, the place where Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes as to feed five thousand people. That's the name of the church that was built on the site, The Church of Multiplication,

where we lit candles

and we admired the well conserved mosaics

Then, to Capernaum, where we had a special host, as you may see, much to Maya's joy...

Peter's church was closed, so we had to do with the ancient synagogue.

And of course, Maya was there...it fascinated me, my daughter near those ancient stones...

Capernaum was fantastic, so much history and Judaism and Christianity blended together...

But for me, the real surprise was the discovery of this gem, The Church of the Twelve Apostles, an Orthodox church and a fascinating place...

From there, of course, we went to the Mount of Beautitudes where Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount.

All in all, it was great and I got the chance to recharge my "spiritual" batteries, to last me until summer...

I Don't Want To Be a Hero....just to protect my daughter

It is quiet today, almost eerie I may say...We are "back to normal", "back to the routine", children are returning to schools and kindergartens. Well, not  mine. Maya is still at home. If today it will contniue to be quiet, witout alarms and rockets falling, I could take into consideration sending her to kindy tomorow. I just cannot forget easily. The events of the past days still linger in my conscience and I know for the next week we'll jump whenever we'll hear a louder sound and Maya will put her slippers near the entrance door, "just in case of a night alarm".

So, even if we suffer from cabin fever and the weather is nice we will stay indoors today. I don't want to be a hero, you see. I don't want to pretend everything is OK, because it isn't. It is not OK to live between aerian attack alarms, to have my live lived at the mercy of every rocket thrower in the Gaza strip. and to be very clear: they are terrorist. They terrorize my days and my nights and no matter what our government say, they have won this time. They send over 200 rockets and misiles to Israel, keeping a million people in their houses and shelters for four days.

Don't get me wrong, I am not for violence or war, God forbid, but I cannot also agree to live in this conditions until...until when, exactly?

This state, this world has leaders and I want them to sit and analyse and solve this situation, once and for all. For the sake of our children, for the future of this world...
And yes, I am writing about this and continue to write until I bore you all into action, because I am sick and tired of being by myself here,in this corner of the blogosphere ...I don't want your pity...just to hear me out and try to understand...and lend a shoulder....

I am linking it to Shel's "Pour Your Heart Out"

Check it out, it is awesome!

A Rocket Fell Near My House

What can I say, instead of the situation being better, it is worse...Today at noon a rocket fell near our building. We heard the huge boom and the building shook and filled with dust. We heard ambulances and the firefighters and I became histerical...three years ago another rocket fell on the building near ours and since then I panick whenever I hear the siren sounding a rocket attack.
I am so stressed my thoughts are sluggish and my whole body hurts. On top of everything, I've got the flu and I feel like s**t. Moreover, the fact that I have to run in the middle of the night in my pj's out the apartment in the stairway - it is safer than in our apartment, it doesn't help my illness.
I don't want to live like this anymore!!!
I want to be able to go out whanever I want, and not being afraid that a rocket will fall on my head. I want my daughter to have a normal childhood, I don't want her to know what is the "Iron Dome" or a Grad rocket, I don't want her to run whenever she hears a siren. I don't want to get used to this!!! I want the terror to stop...
I am watching the people that are working across the street, cleaning the mess the rocket left - all the shops' windows were shattered. When, I few hours ago we had another alarm, they run seeking shelter, and then continued with their task...
Somebody from the Mayor's office called us to ask if we need assistance, if Maya is OK. People are fantastic, working under this conditions.
I am scared and I ask myself, am I a coward to be afraid for my life and my daughter's?

About Rockets, Mantras and All What's in Between

I know...it has been a long time since I've been here. To tell you I have some excuses it would be lame, still...The month of February was "Sick Maya" time, and it continued up to the first week in March. My baby was sick, took antibiotics two times, and was coughing really bad. And you know me, my daughter is sick, I am sick. In between ilnesses I tried to write that God damned book I am working so hard at...it is like a curse, to finish the book....to finish the book, my new mantra.
Now I am the one with a bad case of flu, I think all the viruses Maya brought home from the kindy have finally caught up with me.
Oh, and the alarms...since Friday evening, we are bombed continuously, and if you remeber I said we don't have a "secure room" in the apartment, so we have to go outside the apartment in the stairway. During the day is OK, as we socialize with the neighbours, but at midnight, with Maya sleeping in my husband's arms, trembling from fear ans cold...not so much fun. So, my other mantra is "stay calm and don't panic for the sake of your child". The truth? I had enough! I am a non-violent person and all, but seriously...I don't want my life and my family's to be controlled by terrorists. It is like I am at their good will. They come home from the mosque, take the rocked thrower from the shed and play eenie-meenie to decide where to send the next Grad. And if it's Ashdod, well, bad luck for us...
But, concretely or "tachles" as they say in Hebrew, what can a simple person like me do? Besides trying to protect my sanity and my daughter? I dream of living on an island in the middle of the ocean...only with my luck, a tsunami would hit me there...
That's it for today. I will be writing more if, hopefully, we'll get out unscathed from this last Palestinian - Israeli confrontation. Even poor Dasha, the cat, is terrified when the siren sounds. She runs in zig-zag and hides under the bed and it took up the habit of sleeping with us...