Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I'll Just Send Him Hunting

Emmanuel Benner: Prehistoric Man Hunting Bears...Image via Wikipedia

Oh well, I had such a nice post lined up for tonight...But as I came home from my dentist appointment, I found the house smelling of vomit and my husband sitting in the bedroom, in the dark, because he didn't find the remote control to turn on the TV. I leave them by themselves for one hour and what happens? Maya throws a temper tantrum that culminates with throwing up her dinner (because she didn't want to wear the pj's my husband gave her), my husband wants to change the bed sheets (as Maya threw up on them), find them only after rummaging in the closet for several minutes (his version). Takes of the bed the soiled sheets and without rinsing the vomit put them on the kitchen floor, near the washing machine (identified the source of the sour smell and rinsed the bedding myself, had to light some incense for the smell). Doesn't find Maya's soft pacifiers or a clean pijama. The dog has a fit of some sorts (shows the white of eyes, tongue flops on one side) poor old sod, and my hubby just doesn't seem to cope with everything and, as a stubborn child, refuses my peace offering in the form of his dinner...
He is a great husband and dad, I am just not supposed to leave him in charge for more than 15 minutes - half an hour because something always happens (usually Maya has a tantrum or he doesn't find some essential piece of child equipment). Now, that I'm home, he looks at me with reproachful eyes and I didn't even tell him I have another appointment at the dentist next week...
I think man are great, I really do, as long as you leave them do their hunting and war dancing and cave digging. To bad we are vegetarians. So I'll just send him to fish some fish. We can alsways throw them back in the water...
And the nice post? Tomorow, if I can help it...
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Don't Cry, My Baby!

Cry baby cryImage by via Flickr

Maya is still crying in the morning, telling me that she doesn't want to go to the gan (kindergarten in Hebrew). This morning I could hardly peel her from myself as she cried so hard. I ended crying myself, my husband got pissed off and said :"I thought I had one child and now I have two" (isn't he considerate?). So I cried harder and told him to f*** off and leave me alone. Half of the kids in Maya's gan are still crying in the morning. Of course, even if Maya's in a good mood, seeing them triggers her tears too and when I leave I can hear them howling from a distance. Of God, I didn't know it would be so hard...
Maya loves kids and loves to be among them, I think the fact that she doesn't like to be told off and that she doesn't understand everything in Hebrew make her miserable. And the teacher doesn't help much, not being able to understand Maya's handicap. We live here in a country of immigrants. There are a lot of kids that go to the gan and school without knowing the language. For pupils and students they have ulpanim (ulpan, singular - a special school for learning the hebrew language) and because usually kids Maya's age pick quickly the language, they are just put in gan and they learn there from interacting with other kids. When Maya started kindergarten, she knew her basic Hebrew and now her vocabulary expanded seriously. But she still has problems understanding, for example, stories or long poems. So she gets bored quickly when they have story time and being Maya, she doesn't want to just sit and listen...imagine yourself being forced to sit through a lecture that is spoken in a language you still have difficulties understanding. You'll get bored or even worse, frustrated. But you, being an adult, will sit it through. Well, Maya is three years old and haven't yet mastered the science of sitting quietly just because she "has to". She usualy wanders away and when I go to pick her up at noon, I am given a lecture by the teacher and advised to take her to a phychologist. I try to reason with her, but I am speaking to a wall in most of the cases. Well, what next?
I love Maya very much, she is really the reason why I wake up in the morning, I also know that I have to let her go, but I don't like the fact that going to the gan doesn't make her if not happy, at least pleased. And I am not pleased at all by her teacher. I think I'll have to make inquiries and take her to a private gan. It is more expensive, but from what I've heard, they have only 10 -15 kids in a group...
That's it for now...See you all later, with better things, I hope...
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Monday, September 28, 2009

A Short Week and A Promise

hands in prayerImage by quite peculiar via Flickr

The Day of Atonement is over, here in Israel. If you want to read more about this Jewish holy day, please do it here:
my friend Hevel speaks beautifuly about it and you'll have the chance to hear the Yom Kippur (Atonement Day in Hebrew) prayer . The Jews believe that by fasting this special day you'll atone for all your sins and you'll start the new year clean. Believe me, it is not an easy fast. It lasts for 25 hours and you don't eat or drink. In the heat of the last days of September, not a few become dehydrated and even colapse.
What amazes me about this holy day is the fact that all the country goes quiet, there are no cars on the roads or public transportation, every business is closed and usually people are keeping themselves indoors or go to the synagogue to pray. If you know about Israel's history, you'll know then that it was during Yom Kippur in 1973 that Syria and Egypt attacked Israel. If you're interested, read about the Yom Kippur war here: And it caught the Israelis pretty much unprepared.
For our family, it was the opportunity of a long week -end (from Friday till today, so four days) and a bit of family time. It was nice, as we don't have such occasions all the time. We went on long walks, talked a lot, played and crafted with Maya (you'll see some pictures with our craftmanship results in a couple of days), had Maya's godparents over, and of course, moi, I just read a lot. Finished the Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews (I recommend it warmly to all urban fantasy fans) and started a new series, Patricia Briggs's Mercedes Thompson. Finished the first in series, "Moon Called" half and hour ago, looking forward to the next one. Briggs's settings and characters aren't that spectacular as Andrews's are, but I loved it nevertheless.
Tomorow starts a new week here, albeit a very short one. I have my appointment with my accupuncturist and I am so looking forward to it...I do hope we'll all have a better week. And I think it's time I'll learn again how to smile...
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Friday, September 25, 2009

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

As you may see from the title, today I won't be writing much, I'll just show you a few recent pictures. Of course, the pictures are of Maya, taken last week when she was at home, sick, you'll also see her in front of the family PC and you'll get a glimpse of my "desk" with pictures of my favourite actors (vamps) at the moment. But maybe I should've started my post by explaining the first picture, the one that it is indeed worth a thousands words...We are a "crocs" shoes family. We love them, as they are very confortable and light. Maya received her pair from her grandma in Germany, as a late birthday present. She loves her crocs mainly because they are easy to put on, no need to fiddle with shoe laces or such. Last week, after we returned from a walk she put her pair into her daddy's ones. I couldn't resist so I had to take a picture...
And that's it for today. Really. I'll leave you with my baby and my messy desk...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Back On Track (Hopefully)

Finally, I have some good news to share...Maya is felling better and today she went to the kindergarten (after she stayed at home for more than a week, poor chick!). She is still on antibiotics, as her ear infection didn't clear up completely, but she hasn't had a fever for two days now, and I thought it'd be better for her to have some routine back into her life...I was miserable all this time mainly because she wasn't this sick until now, so many days with fever and terrible earaches...She is now thin as a stick as she didn't eat properly, but I believe in the kids' power to get back on track easier than we adults can.

One good thing came out from this period of darkness and worries. I read a lot of books! It was the only thing that distracted me from my thoughts (oh, my own head wasn't a nice place to be) and I discovered a buch of new authors (well, new for me). I started with L. J. Smith and I read her "Dark Visions" and "Vampire Diaries" (young adult fiction, very likeable). Then, I moved to P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast with their seres "House of Night" (another young adult series, loved it even more that L.J. Smith's books, the main character, Zoey Redbird is a hoot and also a special fledgling, oh, just read the books, will you ?). I managed to read the 4th book of the "Vampire Academy" series by Richelle Mead. Another great author that I've "met" is Lisa Lutz, she wrote two books, "The Spellman Files" and "Curse of the Spellmans", very funny, about a private investigator and her crazy family. I started a new series, urban fantasy, by Ilona Andrews - Kate Daniels (Magic Bites, Magic Burns and Magic Stikes). Actually, I started reading it yesterday night and I am really looking forward to it. Before Ilona Andrews I started Angie Sage's "Septimus Heap" series but, I don't know, we didn't click, the book and I. I just put it aside and try it again later. I always give a second chance to a new writer. I almost forgot about Jennifer Weiner's latest book: "Best Friends Forever". Loved it. I was a bit worried for Mrs. Weiner because the book before this one, called "Certain Girls" was ... simply bleah...and I love Jennifer Weiner, I've read all her books and loved them.

So, I lot of books, huh? I have to thank here again Thalia, my friend from the Steimatzky book store in Ashdod, as she is the one "feeding" my addiction, she finds for me books and always puts aside the ones that have some vampire stuff in them.

And what next? For now I have "The Palace of Illusions" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (Oh, I love this woman!) and I want to read Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" (urban fantasy series)...Fingers crossed everything will be fine with my baby and my family, as they are the ones driving me crazy...

One more thing: as you can see from the pictures, Maya is into books also, just like her mama...

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Saturday, September 19, 2009

Cleaning As Therapy

Washing the Day AwayImage by Rebecca L. Daily via Flickr

As you all know too well, I had some trouble coping with my problems lately (and that would be an understatement). Well, what do you want? Maya is still sick, tomorow will be a week since she started feeling unwell, and what I did mostly was to look after her. And all of you know that it is not a lot of fun...Temperature, medication, whinning, crying, I had to use all my tricks to keep her quiet; even with a temperature she sometimes jumps like a bouncy ball.
So, when this afternoon she felt a tad better, I left her in her daddy's capable hands (and in front of the PC) and I cleaned my kitchen. It was filthy, I'm telling you! And I scrubbed and washed and rinsed and polished and bleached and while cleaning away I felt like scrubbing away my worries and troubles, and even though my manicure went to the dogs, I feel lighter, less frustrated. And you should see my kitchen! Is sparkling! And with all the stuff that is going on right now in my life (written and un-written as well) I think I discovered a cheap therapy - cleaning! And I'm sure in no time, while washing my troubles away, I'll have the cleanest house in the Middle East.
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My tears fell like bloodImage by {dpade1337} via Flickr

The tears hollowed out
two deep ditches in my cheeks
and they won't let me smile.

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Shattered Soul

Completely ShatteredImage by Poe Tatum via Flickr

My soul shattered in a milion sharp pieces
and it hurts so much
I could sculpt a statue of pain
in the stone
made by the salt of my shedded tears.
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Thursday, September 17, 2009

I Don't Fell Like Blogging...

Alice in Wonderland - If I had a World of my o...Image by Brandon Christopher Warren via Flickr

I really don't fell like writing now...Maya is still sick, still has a temperature, I am still worried, so nothing new. I took her today to another doctor, you know, for a second opinion...Well, sometimes I just ask myself, why in the name of God are this guys doctors? They're in only for the money? He checked Maya for something like 3o seconds and told me there is nothing "we" can do, just wait and keep her temperature down...Then he dismissed us, almost like sending us outside with a know where...Thank you for nothing, mister...I hate this type of doctors, especially pediatricians...During the entire visit (a few minutes) Maya kept telling me in Hebrew:" Mummy, I'm scared". I thought she would, the way Mr. Scary Doctor looked at her...
The reason I like Maya's pediatrician is because she knows to empathise, she knows how to talk to kids so they're not afraid, she knows how to talk to us mothers, when she knows we're also scared wittless when our children are sick. But she works only a couple of hours in the morning and a couple in the evening (she is a sort of semi-retired), so when we have an emergency and she isn't in her office, I have to take Maya to Mr. Idiot, Look at Me I am A Doctor or other idiots like him. I am sorry, I usually write more politely, but today at the doctor's...and I hate when my kids suffer and I am frustrated because there is not much I can do...
So excuse me guys if I am not good company today, but until Maya is sick I cannot concentrate on anything else, I don't sleep much so I am very tired...
But I won't finish until I'll tell all my Jewish friends a Happy New Year, Peace and Prosperity!
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Monday, September 14, 2009

Gravitating Like a Lonely Planet...

The rings of SaturnImage via Wikipedia

All I write about these days is related to Maya, to our dog or to my musings on how much I miss Romania. Well, the reason behind it is that these are the things that constitute my Universe now. I gravitate around them like a small, lonely planet...I don't have a carreer anymore, my oldest son doesn't need me, he is 23 and these days he is mostly anoyed when he has to talk to me, I've been staying at home for more than three years now raising my baby-girl, so what do you want?
All I do these days is to wash off Dooby's pee from the floor, to wash off myself and off Maya her vomit after I give her Nurofen...Really, people, why do all these medicine for children have to came in a syrupy form? I cannot, for the love of God, convince Maya to drink them. I have to give her now antibiotics and also something to help her with her ear pain and to reduce her fever, and all comes as syrup. Of course, it tastes awful. And she keeps throwing the stuff up. This evening she had a vomiting fit and I just snapped, I started screaming at her...Oh God, I regreted doing it afterwards, she is only a little girl and I just her to be well. So you see, what an interesting and exciting life I have?!
And you know what's really funny? When I am upset, I comfort eat! Like I need it! So, me, when I have problems in my life, I get fat, not like all normal people who cannot eat when upset and get thin! No, not me, I have to get fat, to be even sadder and to eat more and...So much for my "new me" resolutions! I think I'll go now to read some self help books and maybe to raid the cupboards for my husband's bottle of whisky...Oh, I forgot! I cannot drink, I haven't drunk in more than 15 years...Oh well, I think I'll just to bed with a good book. Maybe tomorow it wil be...better.
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Sunday, September 13, 2009

The First Rain

Rain on an umbrella from passing showersImage via Wikipedia

Yes, we had it! The first rain of the autumn was here...Well now, don't expect a down pour, a deluge. It was a short rain, nothing spectacular, but enough to leave some puddles for the kids to jump in, and definitely enough to make it one of the main events of the week. Because only in Israel, where the drought left us parched and dry, could the first rain be making headlines...
Of course all the signs of the rain are gone by now (mid-morning) but at seven o'clock this morning I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh air, and for a few moments, I was back home, in Romania...
It was a good start for the week and I hope this feeling of freshness will stay with me for a while...
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Friday, September 11, 2009

No More Moping Around, I Had Enough!

Yoga (#49)Image by j / f / photos via Flickr

I has been a hell of a week, I am telling you...
First of all, with Maya going to the kindergarten, it just threw me off balance completely. I didn't know my sanity depended so much on the routine I had with my baby. In the mornings, when she's gone, I cannot find my place, and I just surprise myself staring at the computer's monitor without actually seing anything or forgeting that I have to cook her lunch. When she's home from kindergarten, after I give her a bath as she is always filthy I check her over, and every day I observe a new scratch or bruise, a new bite mark. Up to today she's been bitten a few times by a fellow kindergartener, she is blue and yellow on different parts of her body, her kneew started healing but are still badly scratched, her hair is always full of sand and because she had a runny nose, the last two days she had snot smeared all over her face. They pay little attention to things like this at her kindergarten and we're lucky that at least she is able to pull up her underwear after going to the toilet, otherwise she'll be running with a bare bottom...
This, and all kind of stuff I won't mention just made my week a bad one. At least tomorow is Saturday and I hope on Sunday things will look better. They had to. I had enough of felling sorry for myself. I feel I have to do something, I cannot stay and complain about my crappy life until...until what? Nobody is going to solve my problems, nobody is going to do anything for me. Well, not if I'll pay them to do it (just kidding). So I've decided no matter what, I'll start making changes. Small ones, nothing too dramatic, nothing to scary. And I'll start with sports. Before Maya, I went to the gym almost every day, for one or two hours. I had aerobics lessons, yoga, pilates, it was a lot of fun. When I was pregnant, because my high-risk pregnancy, all kind of physical activity was a big "No-No". After Maya was born, I didn't have time, then money and so on...But no more excuses. I have tons of DVDs with all types of workouts, including yoga and I have my eliptical machine we use now as a stand for hanging clothes on it...And I also think some yoga with Maya would be nice, as I have the "Yoga for Kids" DVD series. I know it will all do me good, we know about the hormones that the body produces during workouts, don't we?
So, it is all settled now. No more moping around. Good bye depression, hello good mood! (I'll see to that and I'll also keep you posted)

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Luckily, I Don't Write With An Accent

cinderellaImage by jeloid via Flickr

Here, in Israel, everything is about accents. If you roll your "r"s in a certain way you'll be catalogued as Spanish, otherwise you can be French or tzabar (Israel - born). A certain softness in your consonants will make you Russian (oh, that and the fairness of your skin).

People form here synagogues, brotherhoods, sisterhoods, book clubs, gangs, schools and other institutions based on their accents. Sometimes, even according to the color of their skin (you know, fair - European -born, dark skin - north African and black, Ethiopian).

People here say they fight against prejudice and militate for all Israelis to stand together, but, on the other hand, if you are not able to present the right accent at a certain moment, well, you'll be shown the door...

It happened to me recently and it made me bitter, as if I needed this again...I wanted to apply for a certain job as an English teacher, but from the begining I was showed off, because my spoken English doesn't have the right accent. Here, in Israel, the highest praise for an English teacher is to be told he is an " English native speaker". The lady that rejected me so abruptly (via telephone) had every right to do so. The franchise she's got is a private one, I think, so she'll hire who ever she pleases. She doesn't work in the Ministry of Education's framework. That's fine with me. Just, for Heaven's sake, don't tell me directly to my face. It is a bit of stereotype, don't you think... In the school where I taught before I had Maya none of the English teachers were "native speakers" and their English was fluent, correct, clean. And one of the best teachers, with the best results was Irena, from Russia., and her kids were crazy about her. Yeah, I agree it is nicer to hear English spoken with that American tinge to it, but that doesn't make the teacher a good one. When I studied for my teaching certificate I had a friend from Scotland, a very nice lady and she was dyslectic. I used to help her with her papers.

Don't get me wrong! I have loads of "native speakers" as friends and they didn't express their wish to teach English, even if it is their mother tongue. They are nice ladies and gentlemen, and I love them all. It is just somebody created a false problem here...It is like my husband, who is an University graduate, would want to teach Romanian or Hungarian, just because he spoke them at home. Knowing a language doesn't make you a teacher of it. I studied for many-many years languages. If I wanted to teach Romanian in Romania, I had to got a B.A. in Romanian Language and Literature. And by the way, I have a Masters degree in Romanian and English as well. And I studied to become a teacher, as well . But that's not important, What I don't get here is the lady's attitude...The way she spoke to me made me fell, I don't know, not worthy. She didn't ask for my qualifications or references, she didn't even see me in front of a class or interacting with kids. She simply dismissed me as "not right". Well, her loss. I really wanted to try that venture because I like to teach and I like kids. I once thought in a kindergarten and had results beyond expectations. I think that is partially because I know how to lower myself to the kids' level...And I don't say the other teachers that "work for her" as she put it are not good teachers. God forbid. I am sure they are great ones. I just wanted a chance to show her who I am...All this thing made me feel like Cindarella, left outside the ballroom just because she didn't have the right clothes...

But, I'm not going to kill myself over what happened... One thing is for sure, I wouldn't want her to teach my baby English...Oh, and I am really lucky that in the blogosphere nobody can "hear" my accent...

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All Dogs Go to Heaven...Don't They?

old doorImage by C├ęsar S.. via Flickr
Our old dog Dooby is really getting old...He's got this incontinence problem now, and although we take him for walks four times a day now, he keeps peeing in between. I had to take all the carpets away - peeing on them was his favourite way of doing it - and I wash the floor with bleach or vinegar all the time. I know it is selfish of me to think about bleach and stuff when Dooby is getting worse, but I think this is human nature. We're selfish. This doesn't mean I don't love him anymore or that I'm going to throw him out. It is sad enough to see him deteriorate, getting thinner and thinner every day, having difficulties walking, stumbling and falling on his muzzle...I remember we had the same problem with his sister, Poopy, she died of cancer three and a half years ago, and before that, she was very sick. It was awful and she used to pee in the house then.
And of course, all this situation makes me think, if this poor old soul is such an annoyance for me some time (unwillingly, of course, I would never do anything to upset or harm him) how is going to be for me? If I'll ever reach old age, I mean. Am I going to be an annoyance for my kids as well? Life is not fair, folks, life is not fair...I keep having flashes of myself, old and sick, old and crazy, alone in some God forgotten dump, with my body an alien and frail shell, losing my faculties, becoming one with the earth...
So, Dooby, I am really sorry if I am not is the best of moods when I clean your pee, but you keep reminding me that the end is near...and it is not a pretty sight.
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Sunday, September 6, 2009

I'll Just Sit Here For a While...

249/365 - Somewhere Around HereImage by helgasms! via Flickr

Does it happen sometimes that you have to much going on, too many thoughts, too much noise, too much agitation and you simply want to sit for a moment and put your hands over your ears to help lessen the tumult inside and the one outside? It is what I am experiencing right now. It is so noisy and agitated in my inner and outer worlds that I cannot hear myself, not talking or thinking.

So now, that Maya is asleep and a part of the turmoil goes with her, I think I'll just sit here in the corner for a while, waiting for the silence to settle in...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Maya in Kindergarten Land

First of all, I have to thank my long lost and found friend Alexandrina for the idea for this post's title. I think I'll make it like a generic title for all my posts related to Maya's adventures in kindergarten.

Today when I went to take Maya from the kindergarten the teacher was all in a dither. Maya "painted" the tables and chairs with ink pens. And also a book...Well, tell me please, who the heck gives to a three years old kid ink pens? I made that mistake once and I spent a whole afternoon in the company of a brush and some bleach, scrubbing the walls. After that "event", I threw the pens in the bin. Now, we have wax crayons or watercolors. So, a teacher with some experience should know better what is appropriate for kids Maya's age.

She also got punished because she threw sand at kids.They threw back at her all right, because at home I had to gave her a bath, wash her hair that was full of sand and desinfect all the cuts and bruises she aquired. At least with the sand it should be OK, one couldn't expect anything in a country were 80% of everything is sand.And at Maya's kindergarten, they take the kids out to play every day and the yard is nothing but a huge sand pit.

I asked her today if she made any friends at the kindergarten and she answered positively. And I meant girl friends. When I asked for their names, she said "Alon and Ehiel"(these are boys' names).Sigh.Go figure...
Anyhow, I'll keep you posted. And thank you all for the thumbs up. It helped enormously!

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I Dreamt of Cut Down Trees

A :en:sweet chestnut forest in the swiss alps(...Image via Wikipedia

I dreamt they've cut down the trees again...
Since I saw for the first time a tree without all its crown branches, a mere stump, a grotesque apparition, I freeze when I hear the sound of some electric saw.
When we moved here in Israel we lived in a sordid neighborhood and the only thing that helped me carry on was a majestic tree, growing near the window of our living room. It was huge and beautiful, with vivid green shiny leaves. When the wind rustled its leaves, I could hear a soothing sound, like a lullaby...
And then "they" came one day and with heart splitting and hair raising sounds "trimmed" the tree, cutting of its marvelous crown, leaving only the trunk, indecently exposed. I tried to argue with the men doing it and when I asked why did they do it, they answered serenely :"Too many falling leaves to clean. To much work".
Well, that left me spechless. I had to endure a morning of cutting and crashing and I cried for two days afterwards.
Then, "they" did the same with another beautiful tree that grew up in front of our building. It had a bench under it and in the hot israeli summer it gave shade for the people that sat on it, to the kids thay played in the dirt under the tree. Of course, I failed again, in spite of my arguments. I simply didn't understand why...
But you know what was the amazing fact? That some time afterwards, from the trunk started to grow tiny shoots, the branches to be, fragile and trembling, with frail and pale green leaves. After a couple of years the crowns were back, even if a bit mis-shaped, like something interfered with their growing. And now, well, now the building is a private property and nobody bothers to hire a gardener, so every tree and bush grows wild, giving the place a jungle-like appearance, like they wanted to seek revenge for what happened . Every time I pass by, I feel my heart beating with joy.
But I couldn't forget and now and then, when I'm stressed or something, I have this nightmare, that I wake up in the morning and all the trees are cut completely, or they had their crowns "trimmed" to the trunk. And it is like a post apocaliptic scenery, everything gray and eerie and quiet and I can almost feel the trees' pain and humiliation.
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I Wish...

I know I could write right now a long , very long list of things that I wish I'd had in my possesion, things that I wish would happened, of things that I wish I wouldn't have done. But right now, I am thinking, with my selfish mind, "I wish I were rich". And you'll see in a minute what I mean.

Today was Maya's first day at kindergarten. And I cannot say that I am all extatic and happy or that the kindergarten is perfection, or that I have the super well-behaved child. No. Far from it. I was dissapointed and bitter. First of all, the kindergarten is state-owned (here in Israel, the state-owned ones are under the tutelage of the City hall), the building is absolutely tiny and they have 34 kids aged 3-5 years in one room! There are two toilets, one teacher and her helper. Maybe with fewer kids, it would've been OK, more intimate and cosy, I guess.
Oh God, I wish I were rich, to be able to put Maya in a private kindergarten, where the fees are 10 times the ones that we pay now...A private one, what a dream, with less kids, bigger rooms, more light and new toys, the ones that I saw today are ancient! And where the teacher's helper woulnd't dare to wear a vest that showed her belly...Luckily, she didn't have her belly button pierced or I would've taken Maya home the instant I saw her...
I feel so guilty. I feel that I let my baby down, I feel that I didn't do everything in my power to make her really happy. To give her the best start in life...

That's one side of the story. The other side just emphasizes what an idiot of a mother I am...As I said (about a million times now), today was Maya's first day in kindergarten. Her first time ever in the company of so many strangers (kids and grown ups) outside her home. Also, the first time she had to obey somebody else. The kids part was OK, she loves children and she loves to play...The problems appeared when she actually had to sit down and listen to her teacher. She simply refused. She refused to sit down, she wanted to take the teacher's books and props and kept walking after her. In the end, although they asked the parents to step outside, the teacher's helper summoned me to try and control Maya, and she said, with a grin on her face: " Maya is naughty, isn't she?" And that put a cloud over my sun, right there, in the kindergarten's yard.
It was very difficult to convince her to sit and listen. I think it is difficult for her because she doesn't understand everything in Hebrew, at home we speak Romanian and I wanted her to know the language, in order to be able to communicate with the members of my family. She also knows some English and her Hebrew is basic.
Also, she can get a bit over-excited at times. She wants to do everything at once, she wants to know and touch and experience. And then she just enters this state of over-excitement and she's agitated and it is hard to calm her down. I usually take her in my arms and I whisper to her and caress her curls and she calms down...But I know all this because I am her mother and I love her and I'm not sure the teacher will have time to "read" her acuratelly with the other 30 or so kids...
So, my point is: I hate not to be able to give my baby the best of the best...But I am going to do something about it. Not sure what exactly, though, but I'll figure it out...
In the pictures I've posted you can see that Maya is wearing a traditional Romanian blouse, called "ie" (in Romanian, of course).