I thought I would get used to people being assholes by now. But I'm not. I cannot, for the love of God, understand my fellow humas. Does anybody fucking care in this entire world? And, no, no, don't get tricked by the illusion of "caring" that hides behind it all kind of interests. It is hard to believe, but people will "care" for everything if they are paid enough, if it is fashionable and trendy. 

Real care? Not so much.

And it extends from the general to the personal.

The world is filled with people suffering - disease, famine, war, hate, crimes. You name it, it is here. And yet, most of the time, we choose to look away. And something more. People that really do something, they don't shout about it, they do it quietly, without fanfare, without waiting to be praised. and because of that, nobody knows about them, acknowledge their deeds, because it is silent, because it doesn't want praise.

On a more personal level, I see it all the time, in the small reality where I live. Nobody really cares, either. I know I sound like a broken record, I know I said it so many times. But I care and it destroys me. 

My husband always says that I have to higher expectations from people. Maybe. But I judge them according to my moral compass, and because I have high expectations from myself, I guess I expect it in others. Formula for disappointment, my wise husband would say. Strangely enough, I repeat the same words to my daughter, when she comes to me with the the same complaint - that people don't care, don't do their job or do it badly. Don't expect people to be like yourself, don't expect anything from them.

Our building, for example. It was such a nice place to be. But, as years have passed, new tenants appeared, noisy, dirty, rude, in a word- assholes. They double park, throw their garbage everywhere apart from the bins and by doing so, smear everything with their leaky trash bags. They smoke in the stairwell and they put out their cigarettes on the window sills or better, they throw them on the grass while still burning. They get too many in the elevator so they get stuck and then the elevator doesn't work for three days. And you have to take the stairs to the 6th floor with the shopping. And their dog poops on your doormat and they just leave it there for you to step in it. Careless, indifferent douchebags. But, whenever there is something to be done in the building, repairs and such, they all disappear. But when there are problems, they are all very busy. 

And I have many more examples. But only thinking about them makes me sick. I don't want to write them down, do make them visible, permanent. 

So, yes, people are assholes. Nothing has changed and unfortunately, nothing will.