Saturday, April 16, 2011

I really do hope this will not become a routine for us: the air strike alarms. We had another one yesterday afternoon and two rockets fell, one of them really close from our building, all the windows rattled and it filled us with dread once again.

Every evening now before going to bed Maya complains she is afraid and she has to snuggle close to us with half of her stuffed toys and she needs stories and calming music to settle down and fall asleep.

I hope we won't become another Sderot - the Southern israeli city where alarms and falling rockets are part of their daily life because I don't think my frazzled nerves could go though this. I always try to put a brave face for Maya I find myself shaking inside, my inards jelly like and my knees weak.

I am sorry to said that, but we are dealing with terrorists here. They are terrorists, and they are hurting us and their own people as well - yesterday the rockets were launched from a highly populated area in the Gaza strip, this way if the IDF would've strike back they would've hurt a lot of civilians. And whose fault would've been?

I want all this to stop! Many friends asked me what is keeping me here, why won't I leave? The truth is, I don't want to leave. I grew to like this place, its people (crazy, outspoken and loud), my daughter was born here, my son found love here...Somehow, it became my home, too. I know, sometimes it doesn't feel like home and I wake in the middle of the night thinking I am trapped in a windowless room...but still, I am trying very hard to make myself a life here. And I won't run away at the first siren. Actually, if the things get indubitably pear shaped I'll flee (at least for a while and for Maya's sake, I don't her to become neurotic because of the alarms).

The truth is, I am not sure I would be able to return and live in Romania. Things have changed so much there in the past 10 years or so...And people too.

*The picture shows the peaceful Shabbat afternoon. I hope no rockets will shatter it for us.

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