Tuesday, September 8, 2009

All Dogs Go to Heaven...Don't They?

old doorImage by César S.. via Flickr
Our old dog Dooby is really getting old...He's got this incontinence problem now, and although we take him for walks four times a day now, he keeps peeing in between. I had to take all the carpets away - peeing on them was his favourite way of doing it - and I wash the floor with bleach or vinegar all the time. I know it is selfish of me to think about bleach and stuff when Dooby is getting worse, but I think this is human nature. We're selfish. This doesn't mean I don't love him anymore or that I'm going to throw him out. It is sad enough to see him deteriorate, getting thinner and thinner every day, having difficulties walking, stumbling and falling on his muzzle...I remember we had the same problem with his sister, Poopy, she died of cancer three and a half years ago, and before that, she was very sick. It was awful and she used to pee in the house then.
And of course, all this situation makes me think, if this poor old soul is such an annoyance for me some time (unwillingly, of course, I would never do anything to upset or harm him) how is going to be for me? If I'll ever reach old age, I mean. Am I going to be an annoyance for my kids as well? Life is not fair, folks, life is not fair...I keep having flashes of myself, old and sick, old and crazy, alone in some God forgotten dump, with my body an alien and frail shell, losing my faculties, becoming one with the earth...
So, Dooby, I am really sorry if I am not is the best of moods when I clean your pee, but you keep reminding me that the end is near...and it is not a pretty sight.
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3 comments:

Hevel said...

These are thoughts that I have all the time. I hope that I'll find the perfect nursing home with a good internet connection and plenty of people to play canasta with.

Tami said...

I'm sorry Ramona, it's frustrating! What I love about my dog is she loves me NO matter what. Even when I'm mad at her!

Alone in Holy Land said...

Amen to that, Hevel...Oh, do you play canasta? This game brings back memories...
Oh, Tami, this is the great thing about pets, that they love you UNconditionally...and that is why it is so sad to see them old and helpless...