I'll Just Send Him Hunting

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Oh well, I had such a nice post lined up for tonight...But as I came home from my dentist appointment, I found the house smelling of vomit and my husband sitting in the bedroom, in the dark, because he didn't find the remote control to turn on the TV. I leave them by themselves for one hour and what happens? Maya throws a temper tantrum that culminates with throwing up her dinner (because she didn't want to wear the pj's my husband gave her), my husband wants to change the bed sheets (as Maya threw up on them), find them only after rummaging in the closet for several minutes (his version). Takes of the bed the soiled sheets and without rinsing the vomit put them on the kitchen floor, near the washing machine (identified the source of the sour smell and rinsed the bedding myself, had to light some incense for the smell). Doesn't find Maya's soft pacifiers or a clean pijama. The dog has a fit of some sorts (shows the white of eyes, tongue flops on one side) poor old sod, and my hubby just doesn't seem to cope with everything and, as a stubborn child, refuses my peace offering in the form of his dinner...
He is a great husband and dad, I am just not supposed to leave him in charge for more than 15 minutes - half an hour because something always happens (usually Maya has a tantrum or he doesn't find some essential piece of child equipment). Now, that I'm home, he looks at me with reproachful eyes and I didn't even tell him I have another appointment at the dentist next week...
I think man are great, I really do, as long as you leave them do their hunting and war dancing and cave digging. To bad we are vegetarians. So I'll just send him to fish some fish. We can alsways throw them back in the water...
And the nice post? Tomorow, if I can help it...

Don't Cry, My Baby!

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Maya is still crying in the morning, telling me that she doesn't want to go to the gan (kindergarten in Hebrew). This morning I could hardly peel her from myself as she cried so hard. I ended crying myself, my husband got pissed off and said :"I thought I had one child and now I have two" (isn't he considerate?). So I cried harder and told him to f*** off and leave me alone. Half of the kids in Maya's gan are still crying in the morning. Of course, even if Maya's in a good mood, seeing them triggers her tears too and when I leave I can hear them howling from a distance. Of God, I didn't know it would be so hard...
Maya loves kids and loves to be among them, I think the fact that she doesn't like to be told off and that she doesn't understand everything in Hebrew make her miserable. And the teacher doesn't help much, not being able to understand Maya's handicap. We live here in a country of immigrants. There are a lot of kids that go to the gan and school without knowing the language. For pupils and students they have ulpanim (ulpan, singular - a special school for learning the hebrew language) and because usually kids Maya's age pick quickly the language, they are just put in gan and they learn there from interacting with other kids. When Maya started kindergarten, she knew her basic Hebrew and now her vocabulary expanded seriously. But she still has problems understanding, for example, stories or long poems. So she gets bored quickly when they have story time and being Maya, she doesn't want to just sit and listen...imagine yourself being forced to sit through a lecture that is spoken in a language you still have difficulties understanding. You'll get bored or even worse, frustrated. But you, being an adult, will sit it through. Well, Maya is three years old and haven't yet mastered the science of sitting quietly just because she "has to". She usualy wanders away and when I go to pick her up at noon, I am given a lecture by the teacher and advised to take her to a phychologist. I try to reason with her, but I am speaking to a wall in most of the cases. Well, what next?
I love Maya very much, she is really the reason why I wake up in the morning, I also know that I have to let her go, but I don't like the fact that going to the gan doesn't make her if not happy, at least pleased. And I am not pleased at all by her teacher. I think I'll have to make inquiries and take her to a private gan. It is more expensive, but from what I've heard, they have only 10 -15 kids in a group...
That's it for now...See you all later, with better things, I hope...

A Short Week and A Promise

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The Day of Atonement is over, here in Israel. If you want to read more about this Jewish holy day, please do it here:
http://my3jewishboys.blogspot.com/2009/09/prayer-on-day-of-atonement.html
my friend Hevel speaks beautifuly about it and you'll have the chance to hear the Yom Kippur (Atonement Day in Hebrew) prayer . The Jews believe that by fasting this special day you'll atone for all your sins and you'll start the new year clean. Believe me, it is not an easy fast. It lasts for 25 hours and you don't eat or drink. In the heat of the last days of September, not a few become dehydrated and even colapse.
What amazes me about this holy day is the fact that all the country goes quiet, there are no cars on the roads or public transportation, every business is closed and usually people are keeping themselves indoors or go to the synagogue to pray. If you know about Israel's history, you'll know then that it was during Yom Kippur in 1973 that Syria and Egypt attacked Israel. If you're interested, read about the Yom Kippur war here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yom_Kippur_War. And it caught the Israelis pretty much unprepared.
For our family, it was the opportunity of a long week -end (from Friday till today, so four days) and a bit of family time. It was nice, as we don't have such occasions all the time. We went on long walks, talked a lot, played and crafted with Maya (you'll see some pictures with our craftmanship results in a couple of days), had Maya's godparents over, and of course, moi, I just read a lot. Finished the Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews (I recommend it warmly to all urban fantasy fans) and started a new series, Patricia Briggs's Mercedes Thompson. Finished the first in series, "Moon Called" half and hour ago, looking forward to the next one. Briggs's settings and characters aren't that spectacular as Andrews's are, but I loved it nevertheless.
Tomorow starts a new week here, albeit a very short one. I have my appointment with my accupuncturist and I am so looking forward to it...I do hope we'll all have a better week. And I think it's time I'll learn again how to smile...

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

As you may see from the title, today I won't be writing much, I'll just show you a few recent pictures. Of course, the pictures are of Maya, taken last week when she was at home, sick, you'll also see her in front of the family PC and you'll get a glimpse of my "desk" with pictures of my favourite actors (vamps) at the moment. But maybe I should've started my post by explaining the first picture, the one that it is indeed worth a thousands words...We are a "crocs" shoes family. We love them, as they are very confortable and light. Maya received her pair from her grandma in Germany, as a late birthday present. She loves her crocs mainly because they are easy to put on, no need to fiddle with shoe laces or such. Last week, after we returned from a walk she put her pair into her daddy's ones. I couldn't resist so I had to take a picture...

And that's it for today. Really. I'll leave you with my baby and my messy desk...

Back On Track (Hopefully)

Finally, I have some good news to share...Maya is felling better and today she went to the kindergarten (after she stayed at home for more than a week, poor chick!). She is still on antibiotics, as her ear infection didn't clear up completely, but she hasn't had a fever for two days now, and I thought it'd be better for her to have some routine back into her life...I was miserable all this time mainly because she wasn't this sick until now, so many days with fever and terrible earaches...She is now thin as a stick as she didn't eat properly, but I believe in the kids' power to get back on track easier than we adults can.

One good thing came out from this period of darkness and worries. I read a lot of books! It was the only thing that distracted me from my thoughts (oh, my own head wasn't a nice place to be) and I discovered a buch of new authors (well, new for me). I started with L. J. Smith and I read her "Dark Visions" and "Vampire Diaries" (young adult fiction, very likeable). Then, I moved to P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast with their seres "House of Night" (another young adult series, loved it even more that L.J. Smith's books, the main character, Zoey Redbird is a hoot and also a special fledgling, oh, just read the books, will you ?). I managed to read the 4th book of the "Vampire Academy" series by Richelle Mead. Another great author that I've "met" is Lisa Lutz, she wrote two books, "The Spellman Files" and "Curse of the Spellmans", very funny, about a private investigator and her crazy family. I started a new series, urban fantasy, by Ilona Andrews - Kate Daniels (Magic Bites, Magic Burns and Magic Stikes). Actually, I started reading it yesterday night and I am really looking forward to it. Before Ilona Andrews I started Angie Sage's "Septimus Heap" series but, I don't know, we didn't click, the book and I. I just put it aside and try it again later. I always give a second chance to a new writer. I almost forgot about Jennifer Weiner's latest book: "Best Friends Forever". Loved it. I was a bit worried for Mrs. Weiner because the book before this one, called "Certain Girls" was ... simply bleah...and I love Jennifer Weiner, I've read all her books and loved them.

So, I lot of books, huh? I have to thank here again Thalia, my friend from the Steimatzky book store in Ashdod, as she is the one "feeding" my addiction, she finds for me books and always puts aside the ones that have some vampire stuff in them.

And what next? For now I have "The Palace of Illusions" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (Oh, I love this woman!) and I want to read Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" (urban fantasy series)...Fingers crossed everything will be fine with my baby and my family, as they are the ones driving me crazy...

One more thing: as you can see from the pictures, Maya is into books also, just like her mama...

Cleaning As Therapy

Image by Rebecca L. Daily via Flickr

As you all know too well, I had some trouble coping with my problems lately (and that would be an understatement). Well, what do you want? Maya is still sick, tomorow will be a week since she started feeling unwell, and what I did mostly was to look after her. And all of you know that it is not a lot of fun...Temperature, medication, whinning, crying, I had to use all my tricks to keep her quiet; even with a temperature she sometimes jumps like a bouncy ball.
So, when this afternoon she felt a tad better, I left her in her daddy's capable hands (and in front of the PC) and I cleaned my kitchen. It was filthy, I'm telling you! And I scrubbed and washed and rinsed and polished and bleached and while cleaning away I felt like scrubbing away my worries and troubles, and even though my manicure went to the dogs, I feel lighter, less frustrated. And you should see my kitchen! Is sparkling! And with all the stuff that is going on right now in my life (written and un-written as well) I think I discovered a cheap therapy - cleaning! And I'm sure in no time, while washing my troubles away, I'll have the cleanest house in the Middle East.

Tears

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The tears hollowed out
two deep ditches in my cheeks
and they won't let me smile.

Shattered Soul

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My soul shattered in a milion sharp pieces
and it hurts so much
I could sculpt a statue of pain
in the stone
made by the salt of my shedded tears.

I Don't Fell Like Blogging...

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I really don't fell like writing now...Maya is still sick, still has a temperature, I am still worried, so nothing new. I took her today to another doctor, you know, for a second opinion...Well, sometimes I just ask myself, why in the name of God are this guys doctors? They're in only for the money? He checked Maya for something like 3o seconds and told me there is nothing "we" can do, just wait and keep her temperature down...Then he dismissed us, almost like sending us outside with a kick...you know where...Thank you for nothing, mister...I hate this type of doctors, especially pediatricians...During the entire visit (a few minutes) Maya kept telling me in Hebrew:" Mummy, I'm scared". I thought she would, the way Mr. Scary Doctor looked at her...
The reason I like Maya's pediatrician is because she knows to empathise, she knows how to talk to kids so they're not afraid, she knows how to talk to us mothers, when she knows we're also scared wittless when our children are sick. But she works only a couple of hours in the morning and a couple in the evening (she is a sort of semi-retired), so when we have an emergency and she isn't in her office, I have to take Maya to Mr. Idiot, Look at Me I am A Doctor or other idiots like him. I am sorry, I usually write more politely, but today at the doctor's...and I hate when my kids suffer and I am frustrated because there is not much I can do...
So excuse me guys if I am not good company today, but until Maya is sick I cannot concentrate on anything else, I don't sleep much so I am very tired...
But I won't finish until I'll tell all my Jewish friends a Happy New Year, Peace and Prosperity!

Gravitating Like a Lonely Planet...

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All I write about these days is related to Maya, to our dog or to my musings on how much I miss Romania. Well, the reason behind it is that these are the things that constitute my Universe now. I gravitate around them like a small, lonely planet...I don't have a carreer anymore, my oldest son doesn't need me, he is 23 and these days he is mostly anoyed when he has to talk to me, I've been staying at home for more than three years now raising my baby-girl, so what do you want?
All I do these days is to wash off Dooby's pee from the floor, to wash off myself and off Maya her vomit after I give her Nurofen...Really, people, why do all these medicine for children have to came in a syrupy form? I cannot, for the love of God, convince Maya to drink them. I have to give her now antibiotics and also something to help her with her ear pain and to reduce her fever, and all comes as syrup. Of course, it tastes awful. And she keeps throwing the stuff up. This evening she had a vomiting fit and I just snapped, I started screaming at her...Oh God, I regreted doing it afterwards, she is only a little girl and I just her to be well. So you see, what an interesting and exciting life I have?!
And you know what's really funny? When I am upset, I comfort eat! Like I need it! So, me, when I have problems in my life, I get fat, not like all normal people who cannot eat when upset and get thin! No, not me, I have to get fat, to be even sadder and to eat more and...So much for my "new me" resolutions! I think I'll go now to read some self help books and maybe to raid the cupboards for my husband's bottle of whisky...Oh, I forgot! I cannot drink, I haven't drunk in more than 15 years...Oh well, I think I'll just to bed with a good book. Maybe tomorow it wil be...better.