A Night to Remember

My tongue is coated in some nasty stuff, because since yesterday morning I've been on a diet that was exclusively...coffee. I didn't get any sleep last night and I am so tired now my fingers are trembling...
Maya started to feel unwell yesterday but that was only the beginning...as at night we visited twice the ER, and before that, in the afternoon, her pediatrician. She had very high fever that wouldn't go down, she threw up, had diarheea, complained of headaches, throat and ear ache...do you want me to continue? It seems that she has a very bad case on tonsilitis. She's on antibiotics now and we try to keep her hydrated and pain and fever "free".

This is for now, I'll be back as soon as I'll have somthing new. Meanwhile, please pray for my sweet daughter! Thank you!

Fasting, Purple Bumps and Taking the Blame

Image by wickedboy_007 via Flickr

For the past couple of weeks, Maya has been feeling better and better...Her latest test results were good and on Monday we have to take her to the neurologist. And today, WHAM! she fels from her bed and bumps her head. I am still weak at the knees and my hands are trembling as I write this. 99% of the time I am with her (I don't even go to the toilet by myself, she insists on coming with me) and during that 1% that she is by herself, she bumps her head! She has know a HUGE purple bump on her forehead! What is the doctor going to say? That I am an irresponsible parent? Well, he'll be right, I am. I blame myself for what happened to Maya last month, I blame myself for today's accident...I know this doesn't help my baby, but this is how I feel.
For now, I am keeping her by my side, to see if she develops other symptoms and I just feel my internal organs turning into jelly...
And by the way, I decided this year to fast during Lent (actually, the Great Lent, as I am a Greek Orthodox, my family changed its religion during the Ceausescu years in Romania, because the Catholic religion was forbidden) as a way of saying Thank you to God for keeping Maya alive, for helping her where us, humans, failed her. I am so grateful and I thought that fasting for 40 days, meditating and trying to be a better person will be my way to express my gratitude and love for God.

Finally, Some Updates

Image by Lutz-R. Frank via Flickr

Although we came home from the hospital on Friday afternoon (yes, we were in the hospital with Maya for three and a half days) I simply couldn't approach the PC, couldn't sit down to write more that a few short e-mails. I know that by avoiding to write on my blog I am avoiding to think about what happened to us, what happened to my sweet baby...Well, today I am not going to write much, it is still difficult for me to remember, but I promise to come back and write more often, now that we are at home...


First of all, I want to thank you all, my virtual friends and fellow bloggers, for your concern, your heartwarming words, you emails. It is such a confort to me to feel you all by my side!


As for what happened...we still don't know exactly what happened, or what caused it. What we do know is that Maya was admited in the hospital after an episode of seizures, that she was badly dehydrated and suffering from gastroenteritis (atrocious tummy ache, she was screaming in pain) caused by the Rota virus. She received rehydration minerals through her vein, they did a lot of tests, including an EEG and CT scan. The doctors still don't know exactly what caused the seizures, they said it could be the virus and the minerals' imbalance caused by dehydration. What nobody says is that I took her to the ER a day before this happened and they sent us home, saying that she has gastroenteritis but, no big deal...The other problem is they found some malformed veins in her right side of the brain and now she has to have a MRI, another EEG in two weeks ( the EEG showed some abnormal something in the same place, the right side of her brain) and with all this we have to see the neurologist in a month's time...


I am going to keep it all "medical" today, because I don't want to remember all the events before and during her hospitalization, but sometime soon I am going to share with you the things that we saw and witness in the hospital...And I think I won't be able to watch a medical drama ever again in my life...because nice nurses and smiling doctors and all that you see on TV it isn't real. Not in a regular hospital in the south of Israel...


But now I am not complaining...Maya is feeling better, she is eating like there is no tomorrow...She was so sweet in the hospital, after she starved for some days, her first meal was the usual rice and schnitzel (escalope for my British readers) and after the first bite she said:"Mmmmm...what a delicious food..." I am keeping her at home until she'll have all her MRIs and EEGs because she needs to be healthy and strong for them. We are having a great time at home, and I pray to God, asking Him to protect and to keep my baby safe...


And myself...I am trying very hard to learn my lessons, and oh boy, there are a few to learn!

That is all for today...I'll be back soon as I try to figure out this stuff that is happening in my life...

The Nights From Hell

Image by pasotraspaso via Flickr

Well, after all the shine and cheer of the last day of 2009, New Year resolutions and greetings, hope for world peace and stuff like this I'm back on Earth...Maya is sick again...It started on the 31st of December, after we returned from her godparents (we weren't able to stay unti lmidnight, we were home by 10 o'clock) with a high fever...Then, yesterday evening we started again our saga of ER, blood count, antibiotics, Nurofen, warm baths...I am drained...Three weeks ago, we went through the same routine...Since she started kindergarten, we are in this turnabout of sickness and health, good days and bad days and I feel dizzy... What I do mainly is being a mother, nursing Maya to health, and I think I simply forgot to be me, my own person...I don't remember when I had the time to do something that I enjoy...everything I manage to do for myself is stealing here and there a few moments of peace and quiet. I am glad that at least I am able to be alone when I go to the toilet, until not so long ago Maya insisted on accompanying me. I've been trying to meet a friend for months now and I couldn't find he time to do it, as we've spent almost every week-end in the ER. You know that usualy kids are sick at night, in week-ends and holidays...
I am not saying that I don't enjoy being a mum for my daughter...No way! I love her deeply and I am enjoying every moment of being with her...It is just sometimes I want to be ME, ME, ME, I want to define myself through my personal aspirations and hopes, to see myself through my own eyes. But I guess this is my life and I have to get used to it...
I am so tired and alone, my shoulders ache from the burden I have to carry.I wait for the numbness of my senses like a monk waits for God's blessing...

Maya's Kind a Day

Image by PittCaleb via Flickr

I always watch my daughter in wonder as she hops happily through her day...Children are amazing creatures! They live everything intensely, no matter if they're happy or sad. And even when they're unhappy, a hug or a kiss brings back the smile on their faces...
Today, for example...Our route to the kindergarten goes through a very nice park, and every morning I am careful to leave the house a few minutes earlier that we should, because I want us to enjoy our walk in the park. Maya runs after crows, we listen to birds singing, we gather leaves and twigs...Then, at noon, same itinerary, same things. Today it rained and so Maya jumped in all the puddles she could find. I let her, even though she was soaked and muddy, because I didn't want to ruin her pleasure...Sometimes, like this time, I am about to open my mouth to say someting like "Hurry up!" or "Leave it, you'll get dirty", but I stop before saying it. Maya has all the time in the world. And she should use it at her own pace, for her own pleasure. Discovering the world and enjoing the process are the most amazing adventures a kid can have. And if she gets a bit dirty in the process, so what? Why spoil it for her with my grown-up's logic and unhappiness?

Oh God, Not Again!

Image by Ben Golub via Flickr

It is the Hanukka holiday, for crying out loud! We were supposed to have fun, to go to the park, to meet with other mommies and kiddies ( this is my first attempt ever to socialize with other Israeli mothers), to make Hanukka and Christmas cards and...we went to the ER instead. My poor baby-girl is sick again. This evening, she had a temperature of 39.6 degrees (Celsius) and after I saw that it didn't subside, after Nurofen and a bath, we took her to the ER. With all this craze about this flu and that, I said it is better to go and have her checked. Well, the doctor said it is a virus and it comes with high fever for aproximately five days, and that there is not a lot to be done, just to watch her temperature and keep her hydrated.
It breaks my heart each and every time Maya is sick and I think I said it before, I feel so helpless I could scream...All this affair with the kindergarten just kills me. Since September, when Maya started it, she's been sick almost continuosly, all types of viruses and stuff. The last one was the hand-foot and mouth one. I really don't understand all this. I've gotten her vaccinated against flu (the regular one) and now this...Another virus, they said. Twenty years ago, when my son was Maya's age he didn't get all this viruses and he went to a day care. He was sick once or twice a year (usually in winter) and that was it. Nowadays, if the kid is sick and you take it to the doctor, all you'll hear is :"Virus". Where the heck did all this viruses come from?
So now I need again a lot of strenght to be there for my baby. Please pray for her!

Finally, Autumn!

Finally, autumn is here! Although you'd think it is almost winter, we, the inhabitants of Middle East are lucky enough to enjoy autumn-like winters. For me, anyway, born and bred in Romania this season is a bliss, as, back home, in early December we already had temperatures below zero. I miss the snow, though.

It is cooler, it is raining and Maya is having a blast when it comes to dress for kindergarten. She's a girl, so she likes girlie stuff and I enjoy myself as much as she does, dressing her. She is feeling well lately (knock wood) so I'm a happy mother.

It Could Be Worse...Bumps and Thali

Image by Kaustav Bhattacharya via Flickr

You know me...no one optimistic bone in my body...so after my yesterday's post about Maya's sand filled shoes, today, surprise! She comes home from the kindergarten with a HUGE bump on her forehead. I thought I'll faint! She told me the same story the teacher's helper said, that she and another boy just run into each other and "kaboom", they slammed their foreheads like two rams...
Of course I broke in a sweat over the story but my baby, all israeliness from her beautiful blond curles to her toes kept telling me "Lo nora, Ima", that roughly translates "Don't worry, mommy"/"No harm done", it is an Israeli expression really. Just in case, I kept an eye on her all afternoon, but apart from running around like she always does...fingers crossed she's be fine.
And myself? Well, I tried to be a good girl and I have gone to the gym a couple of times this week. Tomorow I have the meeting with my dietitician (they tricked me into this one) and I haven't lost a gram the last two weeks. Who had time for diets when Maya was so sick? And this evening, my husband in an attempt to make me feel better bought me a huge thali -a vegetarian indian meal, absolutely delicious and worth about one million calories. So I just hope not to discover tomorow that I actually put on weight! Who cares...the food was good and Maya is asleep in her bed and tomorow I'll worry about such petty things as losing weight...

I Don't Believe It!

I know that I tend to exagerate when my kids are concerned. I know I want to much from society, from people. I know that Israeli kindergartens in cities that are on the coast have sand in their yards, and I know that because whenever Maya goes to the kindergarten she comes home with her hair and shoes full of sand. But the quantity of sand I found in her trainers today...it goes way beyond my comprehension. She's three years old, for God's sake! Does anybody check her shoes when they return from playing outside? Is it not enough that this week every single day when I went to pick her up I found her face full of snot and dirt? Was it such a chore to wipe her nose or to wash their face? They are small kids, somebody needs to keep an eye on them, to teach them how to do things. I tell Maya every morning what to do, how to behave. But still, she's little, she's to learn a lot and she forgets...

And I'm paying an awful lot of money for the darn thing...

Conversations with Maya

Image by Pensiero via Flickr

Whenever Maya sits on the toilet, minding her business, she gets all philosophical. Today, for example, she was having a poo - I absolutely need to stay with her during the process - and, abruptly, she said:
"Mum, is it true that girls have smaller wee-wees and boys have bigger ones?"
(Since she started going to the kindergarten, she also started noticing the anatomical differences between boys and girls)
"Yes, baby, they do" I answered.
"Then, when I am going to be a boy, I'll have a bigger wee-wee and I'll pee like a boy, the other way round."
Oh, sweet God! No comments.

Hope Is My Middle Name

Image by Mr Jaded via Flickr

I have to admit it, today was a better day that the last..hm...the last "few" ones. Our dog Dooby is feeling a tad better, not wheezing like an old, almost broken engine, still peeing the house like there is no tomorow. But I decided to simply accept it this way. He is old, he'll die soon (unfortunately) and if I have to clean after him for a while, so be it. Mind you, I am not that optimistic after I clean pee nr. 20, but thank God here in Israel we have tiles all over the apartment, and not wooden floors.
Another reason I feel better is because my son's motorbike's got stolen. Yes, you've heard me. STOLEN! And I am happy about it. He bought it four months ago and this was his third accident...I know he took a loan to pay for the bike and to fix it but he'll pay it up and he'll stay alive. That's the most important thing. We tried to talk him out this motorbike stuff after each and every accident, but he didn't want to listen. So I thought I'd have to smash it to little pieces with a hammer or something, because I couldn't let him ride it again. But God helped us all and somebody stole it! I hope they'll never find the thief...
It rained today. During the day it wasn't the nicest sensation because the weather is pretty hot and you got the feeling you're in a greenhouse. But it the evening! It was pure bliss and paradise together! I opened all the windows and let the fresh air tumble in, paying havoc with my wind-chimes. The smell of fresh air and rain always make me think about my childhood in Romania.
Also, today Maya had her first jump into puddles experience. We took her to the pediatrician and when we got out the alley between the houses was full of fresh, shiny puddles! My husband wanted to stop her but I said that there is no greater pleasure after the rain that to jump into puddles, so I took my baby and showed her how to properly do it.
So after a day like this one, please, allow me to fell hopeful...

What Can I Say?

Image by ashley rose, via Flickr

It is decided. I am having a shitty month, a shitty week and a hell of a life. So here I am, felling sorry for myself, as usual... Maya recovered from her puke bug but the bug evolved to a diarheea bug, so that's why everything is shitty at the moment. And my son had a motorbike accident and broke his leg...Yeah, I know, shi...I mean bad. Now you see what I mean.
What is to write about?
Moreover, today one of my "friends" asked me if I want to go out with the kids, she has a daughter, older than Maya (6yo) and even though I wasn't in the mood, I said, what the heck, what could possibly happen to make things worse than they already were. Well, you'll be surprised...I forgot that this lady is the "know it all" type and that we cannot have a civilized conversation because it is usually a monologue, her monologue. First of all, her kids are the best behaved kids in the Middle East (and Romania, she is Romanian like me). I remember that she was absolutely shocked when I told her that, when Maya was a baby, I used to prepare large batches of fruit and vegetable purees, freeze them in ice-cube trays and use them according to my baby's desires. She gasped and told me that she NEVER has fed her children food that was FROZEN and that she never has heard of such a criminal act as freezing baby food. And the lady is true to her word. She cooks for her kids every single day, every single damn day!!! Today, when I told her that Maya has diahreea and that I'm feeding her according to the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) she said that I am not doing the right thing and she recommended only water, no food, for as long as the diahreea lasts. I told her that she should take a look at Maya, she's so skinny that if I'll give her only water she's die of starvation. And the truth is, the BRAT diet works wonders for my baby, she is feeling much better, no emergency visits to the toilet this evening. So, I returned home feeling worse and now that Maya is sleeping, I am here, in front of my beloved PC trying to figure out a strategy for copying with my life.
The Jews have a saying "Change places, change your luck". Maybe my luck changed when I came to live here, maybe I should've stayed in Romania. The truth is, I was happy there, no matter what others say, no matter how bad things were there, I was at home, where my roots were, where I had friends and family. I still feel connected to that place somehow, because, at the same time, I feel root-less, suspended between two worlds, one real, that I don't belong to, and one imaginary, the world of my fantasies and memories, and I feel that I don't belong to that world, not anymore. Does it make sense? I hope so, even though I don't really know what I feel, not now anyway.
Another random thought now...thinkink about premonition and mothers. Yesterday my son went out at aproximately 8 o'clock in the evening. I went to bed somewhere around 11 o'clock, but I wasn't able to fall asleep. I am an insomniac, you know (but that is for another post). At aproximately midnight I was wide awake and went out to check if my son was at home. Strangely, he wasn't...strangely, because usually on week-nights he doesn't stay out late (he has to go to work the next day). I returned to bed and waited to hear his motorbike...and waited, and waited, and prayed saying "God, just help my son to get home in one piece". I felt that something wasn't right. I heard the door at 1 o'clock but didn't want to pry on him (he is 23 yo and doesn't like to be treated like a baby - his words, for me of course he is still my baby) and I almost instantly fell asleep, knowing he is at home... In the morning it was different, when I received the news that he broke his leg, but I knew that God listened to my prayer. It we look at it from the optimistic point of view, he broke a leg, it could've been worse, much worse...
The conclusion? I have to go now...To count my blessings...

Urban Fantasies and Jewish Holidays

Image by cathepsut via Flickr

Tonight, in the Jewish world, it is the Sukkot Eve, the beginning of a holy day much loved here in Israel, by adult and children alike. It is the Feast of Tabernacles, and if you want to know more about it...I would recommend you my book, but it is written in Romanian, so just go to Wikipedia, they have a good informative article about the holy day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkot
We are really lucky, you know, being a mixed (up) family. We got the chance to celebrate both the Jewish and Christian holidays...And Maya loves them all.
Speaking about Maya...unfortunately she's been sick again. Do you remember I've told you she trew up on Wednesday evening, while I was at the dentist? Well, it seems that it was a virus, after all, and not the result of a temper tamtrum (as it happened before). Because, Thursday, after she came home from gan she started throwing up...and it ended on Thursday night, after she didn't have anything left in her stomach. It was awful...She doesn't like to vomit, it is undignifing for her, so she heaves and cries...and she agrees to vomit only if I hold her. In my arms. And she throws up over my shoulder. Weird, huh? So I have a pretty nice way of doing it. I take her in my arms and I sit on the edge of the bath tub, this way the you-know-what goes directly into the tub and I can wash everything afterwards, including myself and my baby...But hey, anything if it help her feeling better.
So no Sukkort dinner for us, as Maya is only just recovering from the bug. She told me that at the gan one of the kids threw up in the trash can, so I tend to believe it was something she picked up from there. No suprises here...
Funny how lately I end up writing about Maya's ailments... But as I told you a million times, this is my life now, less glamorous from what it used to be when I was a journalist...I also write here not to entertain, I wanted to have a place to be with myself (and my virtual friends) to sit and "chat" , to share my worries, my feelings, my problems...
Back to Earth...so, as being Sukkot now, we have a 7 days holiday - Maya from gan and hubby from work (me, as a staying at home mum and slave for the rest of my life, I have no holiday) and if everything will be fine, I do hope we'll go out a bit and have some fun...
And before I'll go do see what's Maya been up to, I must thank from all my heart to Patricia Briggs and Ilona Andrews, two awesome writers. Their books helped me to keep my sanity in this period of distress (and stress) and also to evade into the fabulous Universe of their urban fantasies, to draw some strenght from their badass heroines. My Ladies, my heart and admiration go to you!

I'll Just Send Him Hunting

Image via Wikipedia

Oh well, I had such a nice post lined up for tonight...But as I came home from my dentist appointment, I found the house smelling of vomit and my husband sitting in the bedroom, in the dark, because he didn't find the remote control to turn on the TV. I leave them by themselves for one hour and what happens? Maya throws a temper tantrum that culminates with throwing up her dinner (because she didn't want to wear the pj's my husband gave her), my husband wants to change the bed sheets (as Maya threw up on them), find them only after rummaging in the closet for several minutes (his version). Takes of the bed the soiled sheets and without rinsing the vomit put them on the kitchen floor, near the washing machine (identified the source of the sour smell and rinsed the bedding myself, had to light some incense for the smell). Doesn't find Maya's soft pacifiers or a clean pijama. The dog has a fit of some sorts (shows the white of eyes, tongue flops on one side) poor old sod, and my hubby just doesn't seem to cope with everything and, as a stubborn child, refuses my peace offering in the form of his dinner...
He is a great husband and dad, I am just not supposed to leave him in charge for more than 15 minutes - half an hour because something always happens (usually Maya has a tantrum or he doesn't find some essential piece of child equipment). Now, that I'm home, he looks at me with reproachful eyes and I didn't even tell him I have another appointment at the dentist next week...
I think man are great, I really do, as long as you leave them do their hunting and war dancing and cave digging. To bad we are vegetarians. So I'll just send him to fish some fish. We can alsways throw them back in the water...
And the nice post? Tomorow, if I can help it...

Don't Cry, My Baby!

Image by tostadophoto.com via Flickr

Maya is still crying in the morning, telling me that she doesn't want to go to the gan (kindergarten in Hebrew). This morning I could hardly peel her from myself as she cried so hard. I ended crying myself, my husband got pissed off and said :"I thought I had one child and now I have two" (isn't he considerate?). So I cried harder and told him to f*** off and leave me alone. Half of the kids in Maya's gan are still crying in the morning. Of course, even if Maya's in a good mood, seeing them triggers her tears too and when I leave I can hear them howling from a distance. Of God, I didn't know it would be so hard...
Maya loves kids and loves to be among them, I think the fact that she doesn't like to be told off and that she doesn't understand everything in Hebrew make her miserable. And the teacher doesn't help much, not being able to understand Maya's handicap. We live here in a country of immigrants. There are a lot of kids that go to the gan and school without knowing the language. For pupils and students they have ulpanim (ulpan, singular - a special school for learning the hebrew language) and because usually kids Maya's age pick quickly the language, they are just put in gan and they learn there from interacting with other kids. When Maya started kindergarten, she knew her basic Hebrew and now her vocabulary expanded seriously. But she still has problems understanding, for example, stories or long poems. So she gets bored quickly when they have story time and being Maya, she doesn't want to just sit and listen...imagine yourself being forced to sit through a lecture that is spoken in a language you still have difficulties understanding. You'll get bored or even worse, frustrated. But you, being an adult, will sit it through. Well, Maya is three years old and haven't yet mastered the science of sitting quietly just because she "has to". She usualy wanders away and when I go to pick her up at noon, I am given a lecture by the teacher and advised to take her to a phychologist. I try to reason with her, but I am speaking to a wall in most of the cases. Well, what next?
I love Maya very much, she is really the reason why I wake up in the morning, I also know that I have to let her go, but I don't like the fact that going to the gan doesn't make her if not happy, at least pleased. And I am not pleased at all by her teacher. I think I'll have to make inquiries and take her to a private gan. It is more expensive, but from what I've heard, they have only 10 -15 kids in a group...
That's it for now...See you all later, with better things, I hope...

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

As you may see from the title, today I won't be writing much, I'll just show you a few recent pictures. Of course, the pictures are of Maya, taken last week when she was at home, sick, you'll also see her in front of the family PC and you'll get a glimpse of my "desk" with pictures of my favourite actors (vamps) at the moment. But maybe I should've started my post by explaining the first picture, the one that it is indeed worth a thousands words...We are a "crocs" shoes family. We love them, as they are very confortable and light. Maya received her pair from her grandma in Germany, as a late birthday present. She loves her crocs mainly because they are easy to put on, no need to fiddle with shoe laces or such. Last week, after we returned from a walk she put her pair into her daddy's ones. I couldn't resist so I had to take a picture...

And that's it for today. Really. I'll leave you with my baby and my messy desk...

Back On Track (Hopefully)

Finally, I have some good news to share...Maya is felling better and today she went to the kindergarten (after she stayed at home for more than a week, poor chick!). She is still on antibiotics, as her ear infection didn't clear up completely, but she hasn't had a fever for two days now, and I thought it'd be better for her to have some routine back into her life...I was miserable all this time mainly because she wasn't this sick until now, so many days with fever and terrible earaches...She is now thin as a stick as she didn't eat properly, but I believe in the kids' power to get back on track easier than we adults can.

One good thing came out from this period of darkness and worries. I read a lot of books! It was the only thing that distracted me from my thoughts (oh, my own head wasn't a nice place to be) and I discovered a buch of new authors (well, new for me). I started with L. J. Smith and I read her "Dark Visions" and "Vampire Diaries" (young adult fiction, very likeable). Then, I moved to P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast with their seres "House of Night" (another young adult series, loved it even more that L.J. Smith's books, the main character, Zoey Redbird is a hoot and also a special fledgling, oh, just read the books, will you ?). I managed to read the 4th book of the "Vampire Academy" series by Richelle Mead. Another great author that I've "met" is Lisa Lutz, she wrote two books, "The Spellman Files" and "Curse of the Spellmans", very funny, about a private investigator and her crazy family. I started a new series, urban fantasy, by Ilona Andrews - Kate Daniels (Magic Bites, Magic Burns and Magic Stikes). Actually, I started reading it yesterday night and I am really looking forward to it. Before Ilona Andrews I started Angie Sage's "Septimus Heap" series but, I don't know, we didn't click, the book and I. I just put it aside and try it again later. I always give a second chance to a new writer. I almost forgot about Jennifer Weiner's latest book: "Best Friends Forever". Loved it. I was a bit worried for Mrs. Weiner because the book before this one, called "Certain Girls" was ... simply bleah...and I love Jennifer Weiner, I've read all her books and loved them.

So, I lot of books, huh? I have to thank here again Thalia, my friend from the Steimatzky book store in Ashdod, as she is the one "feeding" my addiction, she finds for me books and always puts aside the ones that have some vampire stuff in them.

And what next? For now I have "The Palace of Illusions" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni (Oh, I love this woman!) and I want to read Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files" (urban fantasy series)...Fingers crossed everything will be fine with my baby and my family, as they are the ones driving me crazy...

One more thing: as you can see from the pictures, Maya is into books also, just like her mama...

Gravitating Like a Lonely Planet...

Image via Wikipedia

All I write about these days is related to Maya, to our dog or to my musings on how much I miss Romania. Well, the reason behind it is that these are the things that constitute my Universe now. I gravitate around them like a small, lonely planet...I don't have a carreer anymore, my oldest son doesn't need me, he is 23 and these days he is mostly anoyed when he has to talk to me, I've been staying at home for more than three years now raising my baby-girl, so what do you want?
All I do these days is to wash off Dooby's pee from the floor, to wash off myself and off Maya her vomit after I give her Nurofen...Really, people, why do all these medicine for children have to came in a syrupy form? I cannot, for the love of God, convince Maya to drink them. I have to give her now antibiotics and also something to help her with her ear pain and to reduce her fever, and all comes as syrup. Of course, it tastes awful. And she keeps throwing the stuff up. This evening she had a vomiting fit and I just snapped, I started screaming at her...Oh God, I regreted doing it afterwards, she is only a little girl and I just her to be well. So you see, what an interesting and exciting life I have?!
And you know what's really funny? When I am upset, I comfort eat! Like I need it! So, me, when I have problems in my life, I get fat, not like all normal people who cannot eat when upset and get thin! No, not me, I have to get fat, to be even sadder and to eat more and...So much for my "new me" resolutions! I think I'll go now to read some self help books and maybe to raid the cupboards for my husband's bottle of whisky...Oh, I forgot! I cannot drink, I haven't drunk in more than 15 years...Oh well, I think I'll just to bed with a good book. Maybe tomorow it wil be...better.

No More Moping Around, I Had Enough!

Image by j / f / photos via Flickr

I has been a hell of a week, I am telling you...
First of all, with Maya going to the kindergarten, it just threw me off balance completely. I didn't know my sanity depended so much on the routine I had with my baby. In the mornings, when she's gone, I cannot find my place, and I just surprise myself staring at the computer's monitor without actually seing anything or forgeting that I have to cook her lunch. When she's home from kindergarten, after I give her a bath as she is always filthy I check her over, and every day I observe a new scratch or bruise, a new bite mark. Up to today she's been bitten a few times by a fellow kindergartener, she is blue and yellow on different parts of her body, her kneew started healing but are still badly scratched, her hair is always full of sand and because she had a runny nose, the last two days she had snot smeared all over her face. They pay little attention to things like this at her kindergarten and we're lucky that at least she is able to pull up her underwear after going to the toilet, otherwise she'll be running with a bare bottom...
This, and all kind of stuff I won't mention just made my week a bad one. At least tomorow is Saturday and I hope on Sunday things will look better. They had to. I had enough of felling sorry for myself. I feel I have to do something, I cannot stay and complain about my crappy life until...until what? Nobody is going to solve my problems, nobody is going to do anything for me. Well, not if I'll pay them to do it (just kidding). So I've decided no matter what, I'll start making changes. Small ones, nothing too dramatic, nothing to scary. And I'll start with sports. Before Maya, I went to the gym almost every day, for one or two hours. I had aerobics lessons, yoga, pilates, it was a lot of fun. When I was pregnant, because my high-risk pregnancy, all kind of physical activity was a big "No-No". After Maya was born, I didn't have time, then money and so on...But no more excuses. I have tons of DVDs with all types of workouts, including yoga and I have my eliptical machine we use now as a stand for hanging clothes on it...And I also think some yoga with Maya would be nice, as I have the "Yoga for Kids" DVD series. I know it will all do me good, we know about the hormones that the body produces during workouts, don't we?
So, it is all settled now. No more moping around. Good bye depression, hello good mood! (I'll see to that and I'll also keep you posted)

Maya in Kindergarten Land

First of all, I have to thank my long lost and found friend Alexandrina for the idea for this post's title. I think I'll make it like a generic title for all my posts related to Maya's adventures in kindergarten.

Today when I went to take Maya from the kindergarten the teacher was all in a dither. Maya "painted" the tables and chairs with ink pens. And also a book...Well, tell me please, who the heck gives to a three years old kid ink pens? I made that mistake once and I spent a whole afternoon in the company of a brush and some bleach, scrubbing the walls. After that "event", I threw the pens in the bin. Now, we have wax crayons or watercolors. So, a teacher with some experience should know better what is appropriate for kids Maya's age.

She also got punished because she threw sand at kids.They threw back at her all right, because at home I had to gave her a bath, wash her hair that was full of sand and desinfect all the cuts and bruises she aquired. At least with the sand it should be OK, one couldn't expect anything in a country were 80% of everything is sand.And at Maya's kindergarten, they take the kids out to play every day and the yard is nothing but a huge sand pit.

I asked her today if she made any friends at the kindergarten and she answered positively. And I meant girl friends. When I asked for their names, she said "Alon and Ehiel"(these are boys' names).Sigh.Go figure...

Anyhow, I'll keep you posted. And thank you all for the thumbs up. It helped enormously!