I'm Back and...um, Reality Really Bites...

Our wonderful, from heaven holiday is over and here I am, back to the harsh reality...It was almost like a dream, so perfect it seemed unreal. I knew I missed my home-land, but I didn't know I missed it so badly.

Being back in Romania was like being home. It felt so right it almost hurt. The smell of grass, the blue sky with clouds playing high, the heat that is so different from the mediteraneean heat we have here. The Big City with its gorgeous architecture, its people, a huge puzzle where every piece found its place... I was at peace there, because there, and only there I find solace and understanding. I am among my own and it feels right.

I am not going to bore you with the step-by-step story of our holiday in Romania. I don't even think I can talk or write about it. I will only try to burry all the memories deep inside my soul to be able to recall them whenever I will fell my ground shaking under my feet. Because I realized now, I take my strenght from there, from my home-land.

I am the mighty oak that survives every storm, no matter how hellish, with the knowledge that its roots are planted firmly in the earth soaked with its forefathers' essence.

It is clear to me that all the misery and depression I've lived lately comes from the fact I am not happy here (to say the least). But I am going to solve all of it, somehow...I have to. For now, I'll leave the happy memories wash over my sadness...And maybe next time I'll tell you how much fun Maya had in Romania...

Thank you all for being here, reading my blog and helping me in this journey. I love you all.

Simply Romania

I don't have time to post...I am to busy enjoying every moment of being in my home country and my adoptive home town - Cluj.

I'll leave you with a few pictures for now.

All My Bags Are Packed...

Since I was a teenager and sang this song with my childhood friend Maria, it reminded me of traveling...And here I am now, ready to leave for Romania...
I am so excited! It is our first holiday since Maya was born and I cannot wait to see my home country. We fly tomorow morning to Bucharest and from there, to Cluj, in the heart of Transylvania. I hope I'll be able to post here as much as possible because Romania is a beautiful country and I am going to give you a Romania 101 course. I hope I won't be too knackered to do that...
Well, I'm off to bed now as I have to wake up early tomorow and I'll leave you with "Peter, Paul and Mary"'s song...

Night Time - My Time

I know I've said it so many times, I read and write only at night, after Maya and the rest of the family go to sleep...I've been doing it for so long that I actually cannot sleep before 1 o'clock at night. I am lucky I don't have to wake up early in the morning, as Maya sleeps until aproximately 8 o'clock, but usually at 4, 5 in the afternoon I reach a zombie-like state and everything just goes fuzzy around the edges. Anyway, it is nothing that I good strong coffee cannot solve.
But lately...well, lately I am not alone anymore in my nightly activities. While I strain my brain writing, our cat Dasha defies my efforts by sleeping on my desk, or keyboard, or even on my notebook. And yes, I don't type directly on my PC. I have to write first, like, you know, pen on paper write. Call me old-fashioned, it is the only way inspiration flows...

If the Stupidity Would Hurt...

Image by duncan via Flickr

It is Friday here in Israel and the Shabbat (the Jewish day of rest) will start in a couple of hours...Yesterday we had a very interesting, educational afternoon as we tried to solve the "DHL crisis". Of course, after my husband came home from work he took the matter is his capable hands and after some e-mails, faxes and phone calls, YES, the nefarious DHL people said I am going to be reunited with my ebook reader on Sunday (here, in Israel, the week starts on Sunday). I am not going to write down the enormities the DHL boys and gals said because I am ashamed of their ignorance. Let me say just that in Romanian there is a saying that goes something like this:"If the stupidity would hurt, the world would be full of people writhing in pain..."

Mr. DHL Israel, You Really Messed It Up!

Image via Wikipedia

You know me, and if you don't, I'm telling you, I am a polite, well-behaved person. But here, in Israel, many times I had to avert to being rude, when dealing with people or institutions. Sometimes, you know the person you're dealing with, so you don't expect much. But when you're dealing with a "serious" international company like DHL...you expect profesionalism, to say the least.
My troubles started when my beloved e-book reader broke, and we decided to send them to the UK to be fixed. The company we bought it from said they'd fix it, so we decided to send it via DHL, because we thought it would be safer and stuff. So, the DHL guy came, we did what we were asked - to print some forms and fill them in, and we payed, of course, a lot of money. A LOT. The e-book reader arrived in the UK, they fixed it and send it back. Until now, everything is nice and breezy. The problems started yesterday afternoon when somebody from DHL Israel called my husband, asking for some papers, I don't know. Hubby told them that we gave all the papers to the guy that took the parcel two weeks ago. Again, somebody called yesterday evening, with the same demand. My husband tried to explain, again, that we are NOT in the possesion of the aforementioned document. This morning I checked DHL's site, where one can track one's parcel. Our was still in "clearance delay" status (been like that from yesterday). At noon, checked again. The same. I called DHL , gave them the number of the parcel and they said they'll call me back. Did they? Of course not. You know the "we'll call you back" sentence usually means "we're in a huge mess here and trying to sort it out".
I try to remain calm, I am taking deep breath and everything...but the human stupidity just winds me up!!! I saw it so many times in action....Stupidity and carelessness in doing one's job. And to think I am the one paying for all this...I am thinking that they've lost the frigging document and they cannot prove my laptop was not a new one, but sent for repairs...
So, I have to say, Mr. DHL, whoever you are, I am sooooooooooooooo dissapointed. Never ever in my life I am going to use you again, even if I'll have to take the parcel to its destination myself.
I am really tired of being treated ALL THE TIME like I don't really count. Only when I take out my VISA card, that's when I become somebody...This time, even that trick didn't work. I am really sick being humiliated by some clerk or other, being pushed aside, being told to wait in line, hold the line, wait this we transfer you...
So I am using my power. My brain power that allows me to write, the power of being smart and feeling liberated by it. So I write, and if you read this, just swear with me and let them fell the power!
My odyssey isn't over yet...Nobody from DHL called me, they're still "processing"...I'll keep you updated...

Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday - Am I Invisible?

I am so glad it is Wednesday, because it is "Pour Your Heart out" at Shell's blog, and this is what am I going to do today. I gave Maya lots of toys to play with and I hope she'll leave me alone until I finish this post....Because, oh boy, I do have a lot in my heart and I just want to get rid of it...
So, here it goes...
I think that lately I am invisible...I mean, nobody answers my e-mails, nobody writes me e-mails out of the blue, you know, the "Just a quick note..." type. Nobody wants to befriend me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter...People forgot about me, my virtual bloggy friends had better things to do...Oh, this blog and all this virtual malarkey brought me so much joy! But now, it is only dissapointment...Nobody even reads this blog, no comments or suggestions, nada...as if they all deserted me...as if I went invisible...I guess they all got bored by my cramped style, by my long strings of problems, pesimism and such. I know I was and continue to be stuck in a rut lately. Well, I've been a staying at home mum for four years and it drives me bonkers. We had a very difficult year with Maya being very sick twice and all the tests and MRI's and CT scans and hospitals and doctors and late night visits to the ER and high fever and....it was such a difficult year, believe me...to be on duty 24/7, no matter what...I still get up at night to check if my daughters breaths...I know she is fine now (knock wood) and it is time for me to move on. But I CAN'T...Not alone, not invisible...I need my virtual friends back...Maybe I did somethink wrong, maybe...I don't know...My posts haven't been lately what they used to be. I guess I'm pouring all my inspiration in the novel I am writing. Because, no matter what, I continue to write. Each and every night, until my vision blurrs, until may head hurts. After Maya goes to sleep, it is only me and the white pages (and the ocasionally internet search).
I know I am not a funny person, I mean, I don't write funny posts, nor inspirational ones. I don't do giveaways...well, I gave you my heart and look what you did with it...I don't do crafts or worksheets. MAybe I should.Maybe that's the secret of having a lot of friends and comments...
Anyway, if you do care, tell me please what I did wrong. If you are still my friend, give me a ssign. I really need you to help me become visible again...
That's it. I told you everything that bothers me, the things that hurt me most. The ball is in your hands now...

I am linking this post to Shell's "Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday". I know I did...

Shhh...It Is Silent Saturday...

This is a kind of Silent Saturday post...I don't have many things to say today (well, actually I do have, I just can't express them publicly), so I'll leave you with a beautiful sunset and my equally gorgeous daughter...

WORDS I (One)

Image by Darwin Bell via Flickr

My body is inscripted with so many words. My past, my present, my future, interwined, written in ethernal ink all over my skin, all over my being. I am so overwhelmed by the importance of the words in my life, I couldn't exist without them. So I feel compelled to reading them, randomly and in the right order, all over again. Like the Fate spinning the thread than sustains the mortals' life, I have to read my words in order to be alive.
Like a monk who prays incessantly I have to read and write my life's story. I verse, in prose, fragments, books, in the Latin alphabet, with Hebrew letters, in Braille, sentences with or without punctuation.
But while I am busy weaving the letters - black ravens picking at my heart- into finely crafted chains of words, why am I suddenly alone? Where did everybody go?

Everyone is born inscripted by God's hand, someone said. And with this thought, the burden is bearable, said the scribe...

Me? I'll Just Go To Burry My Head in the Sand...

Image by kwerfeldein via Flickr

I didn't plan to write a post today, but I felt this....urge to share my latest thoughts...so here I am. First of all, I have to say a few words about a book I finished. It is called "Things Your Mother Never Told You", and its by Olivia Lichtenstein. And as I am crap at reviewing books I'll just paste here what "Goodreads" says about the book. If I am not mistaken, it is the book's blurb.

"'I hate you. When I'm a mother, I'm never going to be like you...' These words come back to haunt Ros, years later. As her marriage of twenty years collapses and her beloved twin sons prepare to flee the nest, Ros's world is tilting on its axis.It doesn't help that her dead mother seems to have taken up residence in her head, reminding her of things she once said.
As Ros tries to adapt to sharing custody of the family dog and life without her husband and boys in the house, she embarks on a new regime to stay sane: yoga, herbal remedies,internet dating. But as Ros is trying to find herself, the arrival of a memoir her mother wrote begins to reveal a woman she never knew, taking her on a journey into her mother's past that will change forever her idea of who she is. A sharp, funny and touching novel about the secrets mothers and daughters keep from each other. "

I just want to add, the book is fantastic! The heroine is in her forties and it was easy to relate to a lot of her trials and tribulations. I cried a lot while reading and when I finished the book I felt sad, like saying good bye to a good friend. I think this book will go into my "to be re-read" pile. Also, I know the author published another book (before "Things..." ) intitled "Mrs Zhivago of Queen’s Park" and if I'll find it on bookdepository I'm going to buy it, even though I know my husband won't aprove it, as we're were short of money at the moment... Anyhow, after finishing the book, I went to check Olivia L. on the internet and so I came cross her web side and her biography. Oh my God...I was ashamed of myself...wow...the lady is something...OK, so in the beginning I said to myself I'll write more about this mother/daughter thing but now I don't want to do it anymore. Go and read Olivia Lichtenstein's book. She did a better job than I'll ever do, anyway... I'll just go to burry my head in the sand.We have plenty of that here...
I just want to add that I hope that between me and my daughter will never be any unspoken words and, no matter what one would say, I hope I'll do a better job raising her than my own mother did with me...