Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I Am Still Here (Somewhere)

pista ciclabileImage by stefaniav via Flickr

I don't have much time, so I'm not in for a long visit. Maya is still sick and these last days have been pretty hectic, with visits to the ER and doctors and fever and medication and stuff. I am eating and typing now and I am so exhausted my vision is blurry. I didn't eat, sleep, live much these days. Thank you Angel, Zorin and Marilyn for you nice words, it is good to be heard...
I am alone in this race, I gave everything I had and I'm just standing here, bared to the bones, tired and hungry, for food and love and hope, and a better tomorow...I am alone is this race and there is nothing exhilarating about it, just me, running towards something that I am not sure it does exist, just me, breathless, scared, desoriented...
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6 comments:

Isabela Harsenie said...

Buna!
Nu deznadajdui, va fi bine! Dar tu ai grija si de tine ca trebuie sa ai putere pentru Maya. Stiu ca nu te poti odihni cum trebuie, am si eu trei copii, dar macar mananca. Lesinata de foame nu ii ajuti cu nimic micutei, si nici tie.

Marilyn said...

You are heard...and though you can get all of the words in the world to encourage you, you are correct...in this world you have to have the courage to keep turning those pages of life. Nothing makes you more vulnerable than love, and the love for a child, you are in the wonderful palace...where a parent's desire is to love and protect from the world and everything that can go wrong.

Somehow, you become stronger, not for you, but because of them. Our children need us to be superheroes at times when every bit of our strength is just about to give out...and then a miracle happens.

Albert Einstein once said (possibly heavily paraphrased), "There are two ways of looking at things. You can either see in everything or not."

Maybe that is why I am overly zealous about life. Quietly, I would say, 'this too will pass'. It is easy to look back and forget how the strings within can be wound so tightly...specifically when our own children are suffering.

But we all need each other...to dance this dance.

Marilyn said...

Correction (my brain thinks faster than I can type)
Albert Einstein once said (possibly heavily paraphrased), "There are two ways of looking at things. You can either see THE MIRACLES in everything or not."

Alone in Holy Land said...

Thank you Isabela, or should i say: Multumesc , Isabela (oh, it feels so good to say it in my mother's tongue).
Marilyn, I enjoy your comments as much as I enjoy your blog posts. You are such a wise person I cannot believe it. I know I am such an idiot sometimes but this is who I am...Thank you, thank you for being here!

Simcha said...

Is Maya feeling better? What was wrong?

kouponkrazi said...

I hope Maya is feeling better. While you are taking care of everyone else, don't forget to take care of yourself too ;o) Lots of hugs coming your way!