Image by Keith Park via FlickrI don't like/want to write here about matters that concern my married life. I can rant about myself/motherhood/my children but I told myself I will never ever write about any problems that I would have in my marriage. Because it would be like, I don't know, telling of, gossiping, I don't really want to get there.
But today I feel so dissapointed and hurt I can almost feel the pain physically. We had a huge row, me and my husband and I realized how foolish I have been, thinking, hoping that people can change, things can get better. Everything is just such a big sham and I was too naive to think that knights on white horses do exist and that the road to eternal love is paved with red roses. Too many romantic novels, I guess.
But it hurts, the thought of having to accept , finally, that I was wrong it hurts more than the mistake itself.
I know it all sounds complicated and I don't want to explain anything. I''ll just stay here, eyes wide open to nothingness, feeling trapped.
Have you ever been so sad and hurt that you felt your body being so fragile, of a glass like consistency, and you had to lay down and wrap your arm around you to protect yourself from breaking in a million pieces? This is how I fell right now. Breakable, oh so breakable...