Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bloody Tactless People!

Frosty February / The Old Snowy OakImage by LukeAndrewScowen Photography (2009) via Flickr

Sometimes I ask myself if tact is something you are born with, or something you can aquire. I really don't know, what I know for sure is that I've met plenty of tactless people lately...What I don't like here, in Israel, is the concept of personal space, or, better said, the lack of it. I am used to my own privacy and I don't like to pry in other people's life...Here, Israelis pride themselves with the phrase "we are like a big family", phrase that for me is just a sign of plain nosiness. Here, complete strangers ask you personal questions and they are offended when you refuse to answer...
Anyhow, what I wanted to say is that I was called "grandmother" again...I think that the person saying it expects a different reaction, like being flattered I am such a young grannie; instead, they receive the full power of my glare. Yes, I am in my early forties and I have a 3 years old daughter. Yes, since I had Maya I tend to go out without make-up when I take her to the park or we go shopping for milk and yes, I do have bad hair days just like everybody else and yes, Maya is a blond with blue eyes type of angel and I have dark brown hair and brown eyes and yes, she is gorgeous and I am just plain and ugly...but that doesn't mean I can not be her bloody mother, for heavens sake! And anyway, we live in the 21st century and it is not something that unusual for women to embrace motherhood when in their forties. And yes, I know that Israelis tend to have kids in their twenties, in the religious sector even younger, but still...
Oh, people can be so tactless and I can be so sensitive. But why do they have to say things like :"Look what your grannie bought you" to my daughter? They could say instead :"Look what nice present you received" or stuff like that...
I am asking too much, right.
So, from now on is full make up even when I'll take the garbage out, and maybe I'll have to dye my hair blond...Or maybe I'll just ignore them, "polite" , annoying strangers.
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10 comments:

Hevel said...

Oh I so know what you mean! I always get the "Are you his uncle?" or "Is he adopted?" with my kids. Yeah, cripples can't procreate or something.

Simcha said...

Yes, many people can be quite hurtful without even realizing it. You just can't let them get to you. And you're the mother of a young child and will occasional have an off day (which I certainly know about)which you are entitled to. I know I rarely bother dressing up unless I have an interview or an appointment. But that's OK, because my kids always think I look good :)

Maa said...

I had to have a little giggle when I started reading your post. Then when I read that you were going to put on the 'full' make up, I thought "oh no! Be yourself and be happy. Bugger them!

Aine Butler-Smith said...

Ramona do whatever makes you feel at your best, whether it's putting on makeup or just putting on attitude. Lift yourself as a beautiful being because everyone is at some level a beautiful being. The ignorance and insensitivity of others does not have to become your own, you have blessings in your life, make that your focus and perhaps it will help to dissolve the hurtful words when hurled your way.

Aine

Alone in Holy Land said...

I know I've let myself down a bit lately...when I was teaching I even won an "unificial" contest as the most well- dressed teacher...Now, I am happy if I manage to get out with my blouse not with the inside out (it happened to me twice). Once I forgot to lock the door and we were burglared...Maya can be a very demanding child...
Most of the time I am happy with who I am, but sometimes the buggers just get me...
Love to you all,
Ramona

Rebecca Ryals Russell said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rebecca Ryals Russell said...

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!! We adopted a Vietnamese baby boy (2 months old) when I was 48 and my husband 49. When he was a baby I was ALWAYS grandma. I'd just look at the person and say, I'm his mother. It became laughable how often it happened. Now I'm 54 with a 10 year old up to 21 year old, but we've been married 34 years. Please try not to let those idiots get to you.

In my deleted comment I suggested watching funny shows or movies or walking to build seratonin in the brain which helps with depression. It's how I get through the stupidity. Well, that and chocolate. God Bless.

Rebecca Ryals Russell said...

I can't even add right. I was 44 when we adopted him. Duh! Maybe I felt 48...

Brent said...

Tactlessness is born from thoughtlessness. Sorry you have to deal with it!

Carol Anne said...

Sorry people are so thoughtless! Hopefully you will be able to change some ways of thinking. I am 32 with a baby and a 3 year old and I usually look like a granny myself!! I'm lucky to get my hair brushed in the morning :) Don't be too hard on yourself.