Thursday, July 30, 2009

My Sister, the Vampire

Bad girl / Chica malaImage by . SantiMB . via Flickr

While I am waiting impatiently for my sister to arrive (only five hours to go) I am flooded with childhood memories, memories about my life as a Big Sister.
Until I was seven years old, my life was pretty simple and happy, I was an only child, sorrounded by my family, even if it comprised only by women: my mother, my grandmother and my aunt. They loved me, and I felt secure and safe.
Then, my mother remaried and my sister and two brothers came one after the other, in three years, my mother had three kids. There was an age gap of seven, eight and nine years between me and them, the aliens, the ones that came to take from me all that I held dear. I remember that after my sister was born I was so frustrated that nobody paid attention to me anymore that I tried to play the role of baby myself, taking my sister's bottle and drinking from it...I also remember that she used to suck with such a great hunger from my mother breasts that she almost always drew her blood. I used to cry and confort my mother and say to myself constantly: "I hate her. I hate the vampire".
I had a love/hate relationship with my step-brothers and sister. After they grew a bit I was appointed their unpaid baby sitter, and so went my puberty and adolescence, stuck with them. If I wanted to go out with friends I had to lie because I rarely was allowed to go out, I always had some chores to do. I had to play with them, feed them, take care of them. I hated them so much! On the other hand, I loved them because they were my baby sister and baby brothers and they were sweet kids, even though very-very naughty - the boys, especially the youngest. He was the devil disguised in an angel. And I mean it. I'll tell you about him sometime later. I'll just add now that if something bad happend in the house, it was always him behind the deed. Anyhow, my sister was (as remained) a sweet child, with an optimistic nature, happy and with a huge grin on her face almost all the time. I really loved her even though I was jealous of her, because she was (and still is) my mother's favourite. It hurt a lot when I was a teenager, but I got used to it, I guess and then I just went on with my life and forgot about it. I think that was the reason why I married so young for the first time - I was 19. Back then, in the communist Romania, it was the only way a girl would leave the family home, through marriage. Anything else was classified as imoral and almost imposible to achieve. And I couldn't wait to break free from my family's grip on my freedom...
Over the years we kept in touch, me and my sister...she's got her own life now, a difficult one, as a single parent, but she's a fighter, my vampire baby sister and she'll be all right and I love her so much...
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Mesina said...

Ramona, I love your honesty in this post! I too have age gaps between my siblings and I as I was the only child between my natural mother and father. My youngest brother is only coming up to 5 years old this August! But what a way of seeing your childhood and calling her the vampire sister, I can tell that you truely love her now even despite the little jealousy.
Well written, your english is beautiful. x

toffee said...

Ramona, enjoy your time with your sister. Maybe she will fall in love with Israel like you did. Let us know where you are taking her and her comments on everything. Have the best time with her.

Unknown said...

Ramona, I love your posts about your family. Maybe because it reassures me that I'm not the only one with a confusing family tree and I'm not the only one who has walked a path of abandonement and through healing.

(By the way, my eldest half brother is 42, my youngest half brother is 1 and a half.)

Alone in Holy Land said...

My husband went to bring my sister from the airport. I am so excited! I hope she'll have a good time with us and of course I'll write everything here. We intend to take her lots of places and I want lots of pictures. And I decided I'd be carrying a notebook with me at all times!
Thank you all for your comments and support!